Always look on the bright side of life....

Sarah received her last dose of Chemotherapy at lunchtime today. As mentioned, before the 3rd cycle involved a much larger dose of Cytarabine than administered before (10 times as much) so how the body reacts to the treatment is an unknown as we have no experience to draw comparison. Treatment is given in 2 doses on days 1, 3 and 5 (lasting 4 hours at a time and are given 12hours apart each day - therefore Chemo is given 8am - 12pm and then again 8pm-12am on Days 1, 3 & 5). Therefore, this intense treatment really does take its toll on all your resources. The feeling is akin to being heavily drugged, feeling like a zombie in your own body: you are vaguely aware of what is going on around you but all you can do is sleep, and even after sleep you feel as tired and restless as you were before you went to sleep. You just don’t feel right, I suppose it is hard to describe in the third person.
The relative ease of which Sarah sailed through her last cycle of treatment (which included being able to administer her own Chemo at home); proved a false dawn when compared with this new level of treatment. The last few days have reconfirmed the long, arduous, but ultimately rewarding journey, we find ourselves on but it is a journey that must continue with as we seek its’ end and a return to normality. We are under no impression that the rest of the treatment will be easy and there is no definite date when we can return to normal but we must remain focused on 'why' we are going through this short-term pain as we seek the long-term gain.
We are hopeful that the children are coming up by train from Southend on Thursday, as Sarah hasn’t seen them since her return to Barts. It is this separation that is hardest part of all the treatment, all Sarah longs for is to be back at home cooking, cleaning, washing, reading bedtime stories, doing the Iggle-Piggle dance (oops! sorry Sarah I divulge too much!), caring for her children. We know that Sarah will be able to return to carry on these pleasures, but nonetheless it is still difficult to try and comprehend why any of this has had to happen......